Ever had that friend who thinks they are the best and “far better than what you are”? Or who thinks they are way more beautiful than you’ll ever be? Ever had one of those colleagues who thinks their work ALWAYS surpasses everyone else’s? Or anyone who manages to make every single conversation about them? Well then, you have probably know someone who has narcissistic personality disorder.
Though the original Greek myth was simply about self-adoration and self-admiration, the modern predicament is much more complicated. Worse part, according to a survey, about 6% of the adult population of the United States, suffers from full-blown narcissistic disorder. Now, what’s even worse is, you just cannot deal with such people. It’s not a compulsion for them; it’s just the way they are.
The only way out for you is to be able to recognize them and stay away from the beginning itself. These eight habits and characteristics are very common, if not unique, to narcissists. Keep an eye out!
1. THEY DON’T REALLY HAVE GENUINE EMOTIONS
Whatever they tell you, is a facade. What they really like doing is feeding off of others’ emotional energy, leaving them drained, husks of their former selves. They are never above playing the victim; in fact, they will go to immense lengths to simply get sympathy, attention and affection and become the center of attention of everyone around. They will use extremely juvenile tactics like feigning sickness too, to get their ends.
2. THEY ARE NEVER RESPONSIBLE
This is unique to narcissists to an irritating degree. They are never the ones at fault. However, they are the ones who are always wronged; you will hear sagas about how they were always too good for the people around them who harmed them and never gave them what they wanted and how they magnanimously forgave them because they were morally superior. FILTER SUCH INFORMATION! High chance it’s far away from the truth.
Now this is a funny one. Back in my graduation days, I had a classmate. Conventionally good-looking dude, really popular. But hollow, shallow and narcissistic. He couldn’t let a discussion on books (we were all literature students), or films go without butting in and forcibly spoon-feed us his opinion. Now interesting thing was, he would casually keep saying things like “oh that film is so much like the stuff Tornatore makes”. I took a gamble and asked him, “What have you watched by him? Any recommendations?” And needless to say, he avoided the conversation and left soon enough.
4. THEY WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE
This is an extension of the second point. They can never admit to be at fault. And in extension, they won’t apologize either. Take Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory; does he ever admit his mistakes unless absolutely spoon-fed to him? No. Narcissists are quite similar in this aspect.
5. SELFLESSNESS IS SOMETHING YOU JUST SHOULDN’T EXPECT
What you can expect however is numerous favor requests which will sound awfully like orders and tantrums if and when you cannot fulfill them.
6. THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS WILL NEVER HAVE A PICTURE IN WHICH THEY DON’T LOOK GOOD
Because you see, they will spend time pestering people to take good pictures of them, from flattering angles; then they will spend time editing those to remove whatever little flaws that remain and then post them. It’s a lengthy process that requires a trained brain and a lot of self-love. This is because “image” is everything to them. Being popular on social media is their absinthe; they do not thrive without it.
7. THEY AVOID INTROSPECTION
This happens for two reasons:
One, they would catch their bluffs very easily if they do.
Two, narcissism normally happens in people with damaging pasts; often traumatic ones. Introspection means opening up old wounds and being vulnerable, which they cannot afford to do.
8. THEY WILL MANIPULATE EVERY CONVERSATION TO MAKE IT ABOUT THEM
Hence, having a narcissistic friend is the worst feeling ever. You will never have a pair of ears that just listen without being judgmental.